They Know the Rules, but Stay Silent: Why Children Are Afraid to Speak EnglishAdvertisement

High grades in English, correctly completed exercises, and dozens of new words learned. It seems like the child knows the language well. But as soon as you ask them to talk about their day in English or answer a simple question—they get flustered, struggle to find the right words, or remain silent altogether. Why does this happen, even after years of studying grammar and vocabulary? Some students lack conversational practice, while others are held back by a fear of making mistakes in front of the class. To help your child, you first need to understand what exactly is holding them back.

Why Good Grades Don’t Guarantee Fluent Conversation

A school grade shows how well a student has handled specific tasks. But can they carry on a conversation without prompts?

On a test, the child flawlessly conjugates verbs in the past simple, finds the right words in the text, and constructs sentences correctly. But when asked, “What did you do last weekend?”—suddenly doesn’t know where to start. In an exercise, there’s time to recall the rule, check your work, and correct a mistake. During a conversation, you need to immediately understand the question, choose your words, and formulate a response.

Reading, writing, and speaking are interconnected but require different kinds of practice. If a student mainly does exercises but rarely expresses their own thoughts in English, even familiar words might not come to mind when needed.

The British Council recommends taking every opportunity to speak English in class—with the teacher and classmates. After all, for a natural conversation, you need to practice not only recalling the rules but also applying them without lengthy preparation.

Where Does the Fear of Speaking English Out Loud Come From?

“Say this in English in front of the class,” the teacher asks. Just a minute ago, the child was confidently completing the exercise, but now they’re silent. Thoughts race through their mind: “What if I pronounce it wrong? What if they laugh? What if the teacher corrects me in front of everyone?”

When classmates hear the answer, every mistake seems more noticeable. A student might be happy to talk with a friend one-on-one but be afraid to answer at the front of the class. And it’s not necessarily about their level of English.

Scientists have also studied this phenomenon. A study published by Cambridge University Press in 2023 involved 1,269 schoolchildren and college students from South Korea. The researchers found a link between the level of language anxiety and the willingness to communicate in English: participants who were less anxious were more willing to join in conversations.

The fear of making a mistake can cause a child to raise their hand less often and avoid answering questions. As a result, they get less speaking practice, and the next attempt to speak causes even more anxiety.

On the surface, everything looks the same: the student remains silent. But there can be various reasons behind this—fear of being judged by others, a lack of practice, or gaps in knowledge.

How to tell what’s holding your child back: fear or a lack of knowledge

Before insisting that the student “just talk more,” take a closer look at exactly which situations cause difficulties. You don’t need to give them a test at home—a few simple observations are enough.

Ask your child to write a few sentences about their favorite movie and then retell the same story out loud. If their thoughts flow easily on paper but they struggle to find the right words during a conversation, they may simply lack practice in spontaneous speech. This observation alone isn’t enough to conclude that fear is the issue.

Pay attention to the circumstances as well. Does the child readily answer in English at home but remain silent in front of the class? Perhaps they’re afraid of how their classmates or teacher will react. If, even in a relaxed atmosphere, the student doesn’t understand simple questions, can’t recall basic words, or can’t form sentences, it’s worth checking for gaps in their knowledge.

You can ask the child directly: “What’s the hardest part for you when you have to speak English?” Sometimes the answer is surprising. For example, the student knows the right words but is afraid of being interrupted or corrected in front of others.

If these difficulties persist, discuss them with the teacher. Once you understand exactly what’s holding the child back, it’s easier to select the right exercises: to expand their vocabulary, develop conversational skills, or overcome their fear of speaking up.

What Helps Children Start Speaking Without Fear

Don’t expect your child to speak perfect English. To start, suggest discussing something familiar: a favorite game, TV show, or plans for the weekend. Two or three sentences will suffice at first. Later, you can move on to short dialogs and situations where the child needs to clarify something or ask the other person to repeat themselves.

When your child finally works up the courage to speak, don’t interrupt them after every grammatical mistake. Let them finish their thought. You can revisit any inaccuracies after the conversation and discuss the most important ones.

Experts at the British Council recommend setting small, achievable goals, gradually increasing the difficulty of the tasks, and practicing with someone with whom the child feels comfortable.

These could include language games at home, conversations with peers, or lessons with a teacher. If it’s not possible to speak English regularly at home, an English tutor can help organize conversation practice and select exercises appropriate for the child’s level.

Pay attention to small changes. Just a month ago, the student would answer with a single word, but now they can describe their day in a few sentences. They used to fall silent after making a mistake, but now they ask the other person to repeat themselves and keep talking. Such changes aren’t always visible on a report card, but they’re clearly noticeable during a real conversation.

Олена Болган