"A child needs adults who will be there for the long haul": How the Ostapchuks from Mykolaiv became parents to nine children ^{Advertisement}

Over the course of five years, Lyudmila and Igor Ostapchuk’s family took in four foster children. During that time, they grew accustomed to one another, established a shared daily routine, and weathered their first crises—after which trust began to take root in their home. The family already knew who needed quiet, who needed more attention, and who needed time to start opening up.

In the spring of 2026, five more brothers and sisters joined their home; child welfare services had been looking for a single family to take them in, since a group of siblings should not be separated.

That’s how the Ostapchuk foster family grew. Officially, it’s called a family-style children’s home. For everyone, this was a new phase: some were getting used to calling Lyudmila and Igor “Mom” and “Dad,” others were learning to share space, daily life, and rules, and the whole family was learning to live together in this new arrangement.

Lyudmila says: Taking in a child isn’t just about opening the door. It’s about accepting their experiences, their silence, their distrust, or their excessive attachment. And showing them time and again: you won’t be abandoned.

How the Ostapchuk Family’s Foster Journey Began

Lyudmila and Igor didn’t immediately decide to become a foster family. Their biological daughter had already grown up by then and left to study in Odesa. The couple had a home, jobs, and a comfortable life. But Lyudmila says she always felt a desire to be close to children who lacked warmth.

“All my life, I’ve felt sorry for children who need care. I wanted to feed them all and play with them all,” she recalls.

In 2021, Lyudmila and Igor decided to take in two children. At the Kherson children’s home, they met a little boy and girl, and it was there that they learned there were actually four children. Their biological brother and sister were at a residential care facility in Kakhovka, and they were looking for a single family to take them all in.

When Lyudmila first saw the younger ones, the girl had just turned two, and the boy was three. The girl didn’t speak at all. The boy, on the other hand, almost immediately started calling her “Mom.”

“He was afraid to leave my side, even to go to the bathroom. He thought I was going to leave right then, and he’d never see me again,” Lyudmila says.

At that point, the children had already been living in institutional care for about a year. After her first meeting with the younger children, Lyudmila realized that if she were to take any children into her family, she would have to take all four.

So, six months before the full-scale war began, four children joined the Ostapchuk family.

“Now I can’t even imagine where my children would be if I hadn’t taken them in back then,” says Lyudmila.

After the full-scale invasion began, the family left the Kherson region for Mykolaiv. The children were getting used to their new city, school, and life with the family. One of the boys had a hearing impairment. After receiving hearing aids and undergoing therapy with specialists, he began to speak and is now attending a regular school.

This experience significantly changed Lyudmila’s perspective on foster parenting. When the family later took in five more children, she already knew: trust doesn’t come quickly, and it’s important to show the children that adults will stay by their side even after difficult times.

A Family for Five

After living in Mykolaiv for nearly four years, Lyudmila and Igor established a family-style children’s home in 2025.

Yulia Kravchenko, head of the Mykolaiv City Council’s Child Welfare Service, explains that a foster family can care for up to four children, while a family-style children’s home can care for up to ten. In both cases, this is a family-based care model in which parents care for children on a professional basis.

According to her, the service first works with the biological parents so that the child, if possible, can remain with their family. If, however, the child is in danger within the family, they are removed. Next, they look for a family-based care arrangement for the child. Thus, at the end of 2025, they began searching for a single family to take in five siblings ranging in age from four to fifteen. While the search was underway, the children lived with a foster family—a form of temporary placement where a child stays until a permanent decision is made. Finding a family for such a large group of siblings was no easy task.

“We don’t have a line of people waiting to take in five children. That’s why we’re so happy that the Ostapchuk family agreed to take in this group of siblings,” says Yulia Kravchenko.

Lyudmila learned about the children from the agency. She says she was already prepared for the possibility that her family might grow, so she agreed to go meet them. 

After the first meeting, she decided to bring the children home. Before her second trip, the foster care worker called and said the children were already waiting for her to arrive. So, in the spring of 2026, the Ostapchuk family grew to nine children.

The First Weeks Together

After the five children moved in, everyone was learning to live together. The four children who had already been growing up with the Ostapchuks called Lyudmila and Igor “Mom” and “Dad.” The children who had just been welcomed into the family were still figuring things out: the older girls called her “Aunt Lyuda” or “Lyudmila Petrovna,” while the four-year-old boy called Igor “Dad” as early as the second day.

“The children were confused about who to address and how. We didn’t know ourselves what was right,” Lyudmila recalls.

In the first few weeks, it was still evident that the children came from different backgrounds and had different habits. Lyudmila talked to them a lot about how they were now living under one roof, sharing a common space and rules, and learning to be one family.

Gradually, this sense of togetherness took shape through everyday activities: playing together, helping out in the kitchen, and Saturday cleaning. The younger ones were often the first to offer to help—and the others followed their lead. 

Lyudmila says she has already seen changes in the first few months: the children have become calmer, sleep better, and participate more in family life.

“I can see that they’re relaxed. That they’re already content. But it will take time for the children to learn to trust,” she says.

The family shouldn’t be left on its own

After the children are placed with the family, they receive social services and professional support. “A psychologist visits us, and a speech therapist works with the children at home once a week. I also talk to the psychologist online. We have support,” says Lyudmila.

This help is important not only for the children but also for the adults. Lyudmila talks about this without making a big deal out of it: after the arrival of five more children, the rhythm of life has changed. More time is spent on meals, school, cleaning, conversations, and managing the children’s needs.

Even after a child is placed, the work of the services does not end: the family receives support from the Social Services Center, and when necessary, the Child Welfare Service, psychologists, and other specialists get involved. The project “Resilient Families, Resilient Future: Transforming the Child Care System in the Odesa and Mykolaiv Regions,” implemented with support from UNICEF, aims to develop such a support system in communities.

The results of this work aren’t immediately apparent, but it is the family that provides the child with new experiences in daily life, says Kravchenko.

“They socialize, adapt to life, and draw on the family examples they’ve received in a foster family, a family-style children’s home, or under guardianship,” she emphasizes.

Lyudmila Ostapchuk also notes that getting used to family life takes time. The first children, who have lived with her for almost five years, have already become a real family. With the new ones, this journey has only just begun.

“It will take some time. But it will all work out. We have the strength, so we’ll keep moving forward,” she says.

“Don’t Be Afraid to Take in Children”

When Lyudmila is asked what she would say to people considering taking a child into their family, she talks about the doubts she hears most often: how to cope, whether they’ll have enough strength, and whether it will be too difficult. She doesn’t deny it: it can be hard. But the most important thing, Lyudmila believes, is not to expect trust to develop immediately.

“The most important thing is to find common ground with the child. To teach them to trust. To love them, hug them, and tell them often, ‘I love you,’” she adds.

One of the boys is currently at summer camp and writes to her every morning: “Mom, I love you.” For Lyudmila, this is one of the moments that show why the family endures the exhaustion, the adjustment, and the difficult days.

Lyudmila is convinced that children who have been left without parental care need adults who will be there for them—not just temporarily. It’s not just about a roof over their heads and school, but a simple feeling: there are people here they can come back to.

“Don’t be afraid—welcome these children. They desperately need a family,” she emphasizes.

To find out how to welcome a child into your family, call the hotline at 0 800 219 867. For more details, visit dity.gov.ua.

The project “Resilient Families, Resilient Future: Transformation of the Child Care System in the Odesa and Mykolaiv Regions” is being implemented by the International Charitable Foundation “Ukrainian Public Health Foundation” in partnership with the NGO “Odesa Regional Organization for Medical, Psychological, and Pedagogical Assistance of the NGO ‘Healthy Society,’” in collaboration with UNICEF Ukraine, with financial support from the German Federal Ministry for Economic Cooperation and Development (BMZ) through the state development bank KfW.

Олена Болган