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Physical punishment of children: why you shouldn't do it

IMAGES: life.pravda.com.ua

Sadly, physical violence is an integral part of human existence. It happens in schools and on the streets. Violence also occurs at home, where the most vulnerable are the victims. It is likely that domestic violence against children is where the spread of violence in the world begins.

Why physical punishment is harmful to children

From birth, a child does not have the behavioral patterns in different life situations that are inherent in every adult. Therefore, a child begins to learn the behavioral patterns that surround him or her. It is clear that visual examples will not always be good. So, let's list the negative consequences of physical punishment.

Modeling aggressive behavior as a normative behavior. A child who is regularly subjected to physical punishment will set this behavior as a model and will use violence without restriction. Moreover, having created his own family, a person is likely to use physical punishment against his own child, which creates an inextricable circle.
It psychologically depresses the child and increases fear. The child learns that a mistake is inevitably followed by physical punishment. However, a child cannot always separate erroneous behavior from correct behavior. Because of this, they may become indecisive, afraid to take the initiative or make a choice.
It provokes anger and confrontation. Due to frequent punishments, the child accumulates negative feelings towards the offender. The child may have a desire to do something in defiance without being noticed in order to avoid punishment.
It intensifies the power struggle between the child and the adult. The child may feel that he or she is being punished for his or her own self-assertion (unfortunately, sometimes this does happen). In this case, the child may join the "competition" and begin to demonstratively break the rules.
It can create a sense of mistrust between the adult and the child. The child is drawn to the adult as a source of support, protection, and love. However, periodic punishments do not allow for unconditionally warm relationships to form, and a sense of emotional swings appear. This is especially evident in relationships with guardians or foster parents when the child has experienced trauma in the past and is emotionally vulnerable.
Prohibiting what to do but not offering the right solution. Physical punishment is a harsh, permanent end to any discussion on the topic. The child learns that it is dangerous to do so, but does not receive the right model for further action. We will discuss how this should happen below.

What to do if a child makes mistakes

In general, children do not lack good will, but rather examples of proper behavior. Therefore, the main task of an adult is to constantly form the right models in different ways.

Developing communication skills. It is necessary to constantly communicate with the child and explain that through dialogue and politeness, you can often achieve results without breaking the rules. For example, you can ask for a toy instead of taking it away.
Creating a stable emotional environment. Adults spoil children's psyche with scandals and tantrums. This can lead to children making inadequate decisions in difficult situations. In addition to creating a stable emotional background, you can also teach your child to regulate emotions in different situations.
Your own example. If you demand the right actions from your child, you must demonstrate this "rightness" by your own example. If an adult swears, it is impossible to teach a child not to use profanity.
Constructing cause and effect relationships. The child must learn that breaking the rules often leads to unpleasant consequences. For example, if a child spills water, he or she will have to wipe it up. Ideally, you should wipe it up together with the child, connecting cause and effect with your own example. If a child breaks a toy, he or she will have to do without the toy for a while.
Discussion after the situation. When the unpleasant situation is over, you should sit down and calmly discuss everything. For example, you should discuss how and why it happened and what could be done better next time.

Responsibility for physical punishment

It should be understood that any physical punishment (hitting, pushing, etc.) can be legally considered violence. Even if an adult considers his or her actions to be "education," the law will take into account the fact of physical impact and the degree of harm caused when making a decision. There are no articles for physical punishment in the legislation, but there are articles for domestic violence. Liability is divided into administrative and criminal liability.

Administrative liability includes physical actions without bodily harm (slapping, pushing), as well as psychological pressure, threats, etc. The penalty may be a fine of UAH 510 to UAH 1,200 or community service for 40 to 50 hours, or administrative arrest for 2 to 10 days.

Criminal liability arises if violence is used systematically and causes suffering or harm. The penalty here may be community service, arrest for up to 6 months, restriction of liberty for up to 5 years, or imprisonment for up to 2 years.