"Take this child away - he is defective," Nikandrova explains why adoption culture is important

In a new Intent.Insight, former head of the city's children's service Yulia Nikandrova talks about the template requests of candidates for guardians or adoptive parents, childhood trauma, and situations where children were returned because of... the smell.

In the interview, Nikandrova recalled how 10 years later, the foster parents returned a boy they had adopted at the age of two.

"They brought him back with the words: "Take him back, he is defective," the former official said.

<span>According to her, candidates for adoption often want "a healthy girl of three to five years old, without brothers and sisters." According to her, this is a typical request.</span>

"They want a child between the ages of three and five, preferably a girl. She must be healthy. And without brothers or sisters. And if they already have one, they want one, and a small one, too," explains Nikandrova.

Many families are not prepared for the challenges of adoption. For example, they do not take into account that not all diagnoses are detected at an early age. However, no one can guarantee that a child will not develop autism or other mental disorders in one or two years, Nikandrova says.

"There was a case when a child was returned because he broke a chandelier. Another was because the parents didn't like her smell," she recalls.

Another reason is rejection at the body level:

"We explain to candidates: if you feel physiologically rejected, it's not a shame. But you shouldn't put yourself and your child at risk," says the former head of the city's children's service.

Nikandrova mentions the practice of temporarily placing a child with a family as a way to test mutual readiness. It is not officially used in Ukraine because it can cause even more trauma.

"It's like a probationary period. But for a child, it's another betrayal," she explains.

According to Nikandrova, emotional unpreparedness is a key reason why you should not rush into adoption.

"Think about whether you are ready to live with a stranger who would call you mom and you would call her daughter or son. If you doubt your potential, don't do it - don't adopt," the former official advises.

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You can watch the full interview with Yulia Nikandrova by Valeriy Bolgan, editor-in-chief of Intent, on our YouTube channel.

The previous episode of Intent.Insight was devoted to the language issue. The host Valeriy Bolgan talked to Andriy Vagapov, a deputy of the Odesa City Council.

The previous episode was devoted to how Kyivskyi district of Odesa is recovering from the air strikes. We also talked to the head of the administration and deputy Maryna Lozenko.

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